This post is from an incredible woman I met during college, my dear friend: Jerica. She is one of those people that you meet and know you will become a better person just by knowing her, the kind of woman that I will always hope to become.
Here is a bit of her story:
“I was standing in the kitchen holding my crying toddler and my crying newborn. We were living at my parents at the time and even though there were four adults living there I was the only one home at the time. I don’t know what happened but a switch flipped in me. All of a sudden I couldn’t handle it. Tears started flowing, my breathing was going out of control, and I knew I needed help. I had heard of those stories of people being prompted to drop by a loaf of bread or just go visit someone who they hadn’t thought of in a while. I prayed that someone would think of me and stop by.
But no one came.
I sat by the window sobbing and looking for someone, anyone. I didn’t care who it was. Even a hug from the neighbor who I hardly even know would have been a saving grace.
But still no one came.
The thought of that made it worse. Why isn’t anyone coming to help?!
The tears started turning into uncontrollable sobbing, hyperventilating and I couldn’t move my hands at all. They had contracted in such a way that even with all the energy of thought I gave I couldn’t move them. I now know it was a psychosomatic response to my anxiety attack.
I called my husband who was on his way home from work but he was still 30 min away. I texted my mom who was at a meeting and said “I think I am having a panic attack, I just need a hug”.
It was getting worse and worse. The more I cried the more my kids cried in my arms.
My husband Carston, stayed on the phone with me trying to walk me through it, but he could tell it wasn’t going to get any better. He called his parents, they came but still it took 21 minutes to get to my house and I counted every second of it. My mom had called my brother who was at his house celebrating his birthday and just had blown out his candles, but he rushed over. My mom stopped her meeting and rushed home.
My in-laws were the first to get there. I must have looked horrible. I was laying on the couch sobbing unable to talk holding two crying kids with my hands in a distorted position unable to move them. My brother soon after arrived and then my husband and then my mom.
Carston held me, my in-laws watched the kids and my brother massaged my hands until I could move them again.
“These are your people, these are the people that came to rescue you.”
It was then, when I could open my eyes again and see all the people surrounding me that I had the thought “These are your people, these are the people that came to rescue you. You didn’t need a stranger to come and save you. You have people that love you but sometimes we just need to give them a little time.”
Looking back I can tell that I have struggled with anxiety my whole life, but never to this extent. I sincerely hope that that scenario never happens again but if it does I know who to call. My people.
I have learned to recognize the times I can feel it coming on and I tell someone. Meditation, deep breathing and Marco Polo (an app where I can chat with dear friends) have saved me numerous times.
I’m glad a stranger didn’t come that day, because I wouldn’t have realized what I had surrounding me the whole time.”
