Anyone who has lived with me knows that I am not the tidiest person in the world. The first time I came home from college I remember thinking, “Wow! The house is so clean!” Was it a coincidence that I had moved out of the home 2 months before that? Definitely not 😂 I am a trail maker if ever there was one!
But I have been working on it! Especially now that I am responsible for my own home and have more anxiety than I did pre-accident. Two years ago, I set a New Year’s resolution to be more tidy and that goal was surprisingly attainable when I moved across the country with only the things that fit in our car and SUV. I could not believe what happened in my life when I eliminated all but the essentials.
I felt so FREE without all my STUFF. It was liberating and I could, for the first time ever, feel like I had control over the mess around me. It was the perfect scenario to work on improving cleanliness.
Fast forward 2.5 years and now I have more stuff, we have since moved most of the stuff we stored back then to our home here, and all the headway I made that first year has been challenged. But I thought I would share the few things that I have learned as I have tried to get back to that sense of control because the process can be a little overwhelming. And if you do read through this list, PLEASE remember that these are just things that have helped me and they may not fit your home. Each home and life is different and I would never want someone to mistake my words for those of an expert, especially in something that I am constantly working on.
The first part of finding control is to get rid of the stuff in the way of that control. Getting rid of stuff can be the hardest part of decluttering, but here are some things that have helped me:
- Have a VISION! You need to know the kind of life you want to live. What do you WANT your home to look like? Are you more comfortable when you are surrounded by things you love, or when you have open spaces? Do you like bulky furniture or floor space? Are blank walls uncomfortable or comforting? Having a vision also helps determine what I purchase. Do those Christmas gifts I want to give the kids fit my vision? Use your vision to motivate your choices.
- If you are not living your dream life, get rid of the things that stand in the way of that. The convenience of owning some things is not worth the sacrifice of living everyday wishing your life was different.
- Change the way you approach getting rid of stuff. DO NOT THINK: will I use this in the future? DO THINK: will I miss this if it’s gone? “Why is this helpful?” you may wonder, but this happened in our home just this year. We had a really awesome track for those little VTech cars-the ones that sing all the time. When I was lamenting how much space it took up in my play room I started to think about getting rid of it. Will the kids use it? Yes, for sure. But will they miss it if it’s gone? Yeah…… NO. It took them 3 weeks, 3 WEEKS before they asked where it was and then they instantly moved on when we told them we had donated it. It has never been brought up since! They would have used it, but they don’t miss it at all. Their quality of life is no less than it was when they had it. I would even say it is better because my home is more in line with my vision now than it was then.
- Storage is not always the solution. Sure, a shelf or box or dresser could improve your organization, but you are literally putting MORE into a space that you currently feel like has too much. It is a trick, and more often than not, you subconsciously think you have more room and then you get more stuff to fill it up, and then you need more storage. It is a vicious cycle. Rather than trying to make a place for something, analyze if it really is worth the space it will take in your life.
- If you absolutely need the things you have and still don’t have enough storage, I suggest brainstorming invisible storage: extra sheets stored under mattresses to make room in the linen closet, blankets hung behind a door, multi-use furniture like storage ottomans, labeled bins beneath beds, etc.
- Determining NEEDS vs WANTS: Often the clutter and feeling of not having control comes in the little things. Does my daughter need a different shirt for every day for the next month? Nope. So why do I have 30 shirts for her to throw on her floor to find her favorite 3 to wear? It’s kind of delusional when you think about it that way, which makes getting rid of some a little easier. Do I need 4 half used bottles of shampoo or bars of soap? I only actually use one per shower. Do I need to keep the three broken blue crayons if I have a new one? Believe it or not, they never use the broken ones. It doesn’t make sense to keep something you never use. That thing was created with a purpose in mind– it was not meant to be stuck in a box or closet somewhere– and if it is not fulfilling that purpose in your junk drawer, or kid’s closet, or kitchen cabinet, donate or sell it to someone who will use it for the purpose it was created for.
- Honestly, this is something I am constantly re-evaluating and growing in. I still have more than I need, and I probably always will. But just changing the way I think about needs and wants has made getting rid of things easier.
- Also, if you use something once or twice a year, look into borrowing, renting, or just sharing it with someone who has more room.
- Make sure everything has a home and that that home is not on the floor. Like my momma used to say: “Nothing on the floor but the furniture!” Occasionally, some thing’s place could be the floor, but that should be the rare exception rather than the rule.
In a time when we are in our homes more and the chaos outside our homes is just getting crazier and crazier, I have personally felt an odd sense of urgency to make my home the place I always WANT to be. I know there are so many other things that are helpful in managing clutter and tidiness and I’d love to hear any of your tricks!
